


i dare the dark to eat me fiercely

by Cinnamonbookworm



Series: the darhkness inside [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, and nyssa is dealing with her new trainee, and they find solace in each other, darhk!felicity au, in which felicity is dealing with her new title, treason stains your lips-verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4703564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamonbookworm/pseuds/Cinnamonbookworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>They could conquer worlds together. And it's really a pity that they can't. Because they somehow manage to heal each other in a way no on else quite can.</i><br/>Or the Nyssa and Felicity scene that totally happened in this AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i dare the dark to eat me fiercely

**Author's Note:**

> i promise more of treason stains your lips is coming, but here's a little morsel to tide you over.  
> takes place in between chapter 1 and chapter 2 of tsyl  
> title from kismet by emily o'neil

New friends are easy when everyone’s about to graduate. Girls who have been in Felicity’s classes the entire extent of her time at M.I.T. are suddenly interested in the blonde in the skirts who reminds them a little of that one goth girl. But she can’t be the same person. Because they’re _so different._

She would laugh at the idea that she’s a different person now if it weren’t so true.

So she’s out with one of them, named Elysia, who doesn’t know her last name and who’s been calling her Megan since they met, because Felicity is still the goth girl who disappeared in November. They’re out together and Elysia is scoping out hot people - boys and girls because, as she’d told Felicity over a cup of herbal tea earlier that month, she was _finding herself_. Felicity wasn’t sure if you could find yourself in another human being, but she supposed it was worth a try. Not everyone can find themselves when their long-estranged father makes them drink a very different kind of herbal tea. They’re out together and she’s slightly buzzed from the vodka soda in front of her and wants to go out on the dance floor and just forget all the things she’s just remembered when Elysia nudges her shoulder.

Some girl has just walked through the door, dressed in tight blacks and reds, and Elysia has just dropped the cherry-covered toothpick that was just in her mouth. “That.” She points over to the woman who just entered the club.

“What?” Felicity asks her, bracing herself for another guess at someone’s star sign.

“ _That_ is my sexuality.”

“The woman… the one who just walked through the door?”

“Hell yes.”

And Felicity supposes she can see the appeal; high cheekbones and pouty lips and dark alluring eyes that make you remember someone you once knew long ago. She looks like a vampire queen. And she’s looking over at the two of them with intrigue, or maybe anger, it’s hard to tell. Looks like Elysia’s going to get to figure out whether or not she’s her sexuality after all.

Except then the vampire queen lady turns her head away from them, leaving her hat on the bar like she owns the place - maybe she does; she looks rich enough - and struts over to the dancefloor.

And when Felicity says struts, she means full on Karlie Kloss Victoria’s Secret Angels Runway-style struts her way to the mass of people, with dark hair bouncing and everything. Okay, maybe she more than understands the “my sexuality” comment.

Felicity’s been wanting to dance all night anyway. Might as well go now. Not that it has anything to do with the woman on the dance floor. Not at all.

 

The lights are hot and she’s sweating and moving and she’s trying to convince Elysia to dance with her, but it’s not really working.

The vampire queen lady comes up from behind her, warm breath on Felicity’s open shoulder, and she stops dancing.

“You know, I would think you’d be too good for a place like this, Miss Darhk.” The voice rings sharp yet soft against her newly-blonde hair, barely a whisper yet oh so poignant, and Felicity would recognize it immediately. Nyssa al Ghul. All grown up.

Felicity turns almost immediately and finds herself nearly nose to nose with the rival assassin. They both continue to bounce slightly with the music, light and dark curls intermingling in the air. And normally Felicity would know better, keep her distance, but Nyssa’s been here since the beginning and knows better than almost anyone what kind of life this is, so instead she invades Nyssa’s personal space almost to the point of kissing and gives her response.

“Why, whatever would make you think that?”

Nyssa reaches a hand out to steady Felicity and she knows she’s acting ridiculous, not herself at all, but doesn’t she deserve at least one night of freedom before going off to that corporate job in California?

“I envy you, you know.” Nyssa murmurs, pulling Felicity aside and away from the dance floor. “You were able to experience a semi-normal life.”

Felicity laughs bitterly. “ _You_ envy _me_? You’re the one with the thousand dollar wardrobe and the body like sin and… did I say that out loud?”

Nyssa nods solemnly, but a hint of a smile flickers on her red lips. “You are not quite as I remember.” She states.

“I am not quite as I would like to be. But, you know,” she shrugs and motions to the teased and sprayed blonde curls on her head, “secret identity and all that.”

“Well I did always have a preference for blonde.”

And Felicity would kiss her then if she didn’t think it was just an impulse created by the alcohol, because entanglements aren’t in the best interest for either of them, especially with each other.

“It looks good on you.” Nyssa purrs. “Just because your name is _Darhk_ doesn’t mean your hair has to be.”

“I think you just like blondes.” Felicity throws back, letting her tongue slide against her teeth at the word _blondes_.

And it’s around that time that Nyssa kisses her.

They’re in the corner of the bar, where it’s dark and no one can see them, and Felicity’s head hits the wall when Nyssa pounces.

Their red lips smash against each other and this kiss is the culmination of the years of sexual tension they’ve had and it’s absolutely wonderful.

The music is blaring and the bass is loud and it’s shaking the walls and the ground but Felicity can barely feel it because Nyssa has pinned her hands above her head and her hand is slowly trailing up under her dress and it’s honestly a kind of rush she hasn’t felt for a while.

And she’s not really being _held there_ by Nyssa’s arm, because she could definitely throw her to the ground in one move but she really doesn’t _want to_.

Felicity hasn’t wanted something in a while, but she wants this. She really wants this and if she’s being honest with herself, she’s fairly sure Nyssa wants this too.

She pushes Nyssa’s arms down and grabs her face, kissing her once, twice, pulling at her lip with sharp teeth until they gasp away.

“It is probably not wise to do this here.” Nyssa breathes out, their foreheads pressed together and slicked with sweat.

Felicity can’t help but agree.

 

She switched dorms after Cooper died. Which might be the reason it’s taking so long for her to fumble around to her room. Definitely has nothing to do with the soft yet heavy presence of Nyssa right behind her. Not at all.

They’re not drunk, per se, but somehow high on each other’s company.

Because they’ve been doing everything asked of them for years and years and this, this goes against the literal purpose they’ve been bred for. And it’s exhilerating.

So maybe they’re leaning on each other like teenagers and smiling like cats who ate the canary, but maybe it’s what they need. It’s at least what Felicity needs. And she knows Nyssa wouldn’t have come looking for her if she didn’t need some escape from whatever is going on with the League of Assassins.

“So what brings you to Massachusetts?” Felicity breathes out as she opens the door to her dorm. “Couldn’t take the heat in Nanda Parbat?”

“My father,” Nyssa grumbles, “has decided that I showed weakness in saving a life, and is punishing me by having me be the one to train her.”

Felicity whistles in astonishment. Heirs are not meant to be teachers. Leaders, yes. Warriors, yes. Even princesses from time to time, but teaching is left to those trained for it and, occasionally, the Head itself. For an heir to take on a protege is unheard of, even at H.I.V.E.

_Some traditions_ , Felicity thinks bitterly, _he kept around. Always the worst ones_.

“Is she testing your patience?” She teases, leaning against the door to let Nyssa in.

“More than you could ever realize.” Nyssa hums, leaning close to Felicity’s face, so their noses are almost touching. Somehow the other heir to the demon is taller than her, even with them both in high heels. Nyssa moves to trace Felicity’s jaw with one hand and then her hands trail closer to the hem of the tight purple dress she’d worn to the bar. “Now where were we?”

Nyssa bites her lip and Felicity’s gaze follows, and that’s all it takes. Nyssa’s mouth is back on hers, tongue tracing the spot between her lips, slipping by when Felicity gasps.

She pushes Nyssa out of the entrance, and towards the window, where her bed is set up. Nyssa complies eagerly, whispering and teasing and calling Felicity _enti shamsi,_ or _my sunshine_ , some pun on her new hair color, Felicity is sure.

They clash like elements.

 

It’s in the afterglow that Felicity pulls away and looks at Nyssa. Like really looks at her for the first time since she’d recognized her in the bar.

She looks less regal like this and more… broken. The perfect curls that Felicity had envied for most of her childhood now look like a tangled mess, and somehow Felicity’s red lipstick on her face give the illusion that Nyssa is nothing more than a ghost. And maybe she is. Maybe they both are. Maybe the young girls who once fought blade to blade have been broken beyond recognizability.

But then she whispers something: it’s one word, decidedly not _enti shamsi,_ and it makes Nyssa’s face fill with something other than the ghost of death. It makes her smile. And then her face slightly tints red, in a way Felicity has never seen it get before. And she smiles.

“Who’s Sara?” Felicity asks. Really she’s jealous, but it’s not for the reason someone might think. She’s jealous because Nyssa has someone who brings her happiness in the way Felicity knows she’ll never have. But this - even just the simple act of observing someone else’s happiness - fills her with a shred of the joy that the other heir is feeling. That Nyssa should call her sunshine when she is the one parting the clouds that have hovered over Felicity’s head for months.

“No one.” Nyssa quickly assures her, but her eyes quickly dart to the floor as she says so, and they both know it’s a lie.

“Will she be jealous?” Felicity finds the strength to tease.

Nyssa covers a sigh by turning away, towards the window and the moon. “Most likely not. It’s nothing but a fool’s dream. Pay it no mind.”

Felicity moves a curl of hair away from Nyssa’s face and she turns her head back towards her, moonlight reflecting off her dark locks. Her hand moves down to caress Nyssa’s shoulder, tracing the red marks her teeth left on her neck.

“You help, _enti shamsi._ ” Nyssa murmurs, almost as soft as she’d let out the name. “It is healing to know I am not alone in my suffering.”

“We don’t have the luxury of love.” Felicity agrees, eyes flickering to her reflection in the mirror; the industrial piercing she’d gotten when her and Cooper had started dating.

Nyssa cups Felicity’s face in her hands, fingers twisting around the blonde curls. “But I do have the luxury of you.”

Felicity leans over and kisses her again. Slow and sweet and gentle, with just the right amount of fierceness to convey that even this is still a competition. They clash and calm, trying in vain to piece the other one back together better than the other.

_Nyssa’s the one who deserves to be healed; she’s the one in love_.

So she bites, hard, drawing blood, and Nyssa whimpers for a moment before pushing Felicity back onto the bed. “Perhaps you are not _my sunshine_ , but _my darkness_.” Nyssa teases.

Felicity raises her eyebrows. “Was that a pun on my name?”

Nyssa’s smile is not the loving one it was a minute ago, but instead a wolfish grin. “Am I not charming?”

“More wolfish than charming.” Felicity breathes out, pushing her hands on Nyssa’s back to pull her closer. She responds with something that sounds like a growl and another bite to Felicity’s neck.

They are rough together, sure to be covered in signs of this in the morning. They love like they fight - never really letting the other one win but allowing them to come close, so close, before giving in. They are healing each other, piecing back together the shards of soul that their fathers’ violence has left behind.

They leave each other bleeding and bruised and battered but somehow more whole than when they’d started and then, when the battle ends, they lay  in the moonlight and trace each other’s curves to memory and talk about the feelings of perhaps they’ve been keeping bottled inside ever since their fathers uttered those seven little words: “If only you were born a man.”

There is anger in that phrase, anger that goes with being denied one’s birthright because of gender. Anger that this union is a secret one when their father might have rejoiced in it. Anger that, because they are truly equals, a marriage between them would not be seen as beneficial because one cannot own the other. Because one of them was not born a man.

It is quite a shame, really, because, as Nyssa points out, they would be the most fearsome Heads of the Demon to ever rule. They are ruthless and gorgeous and able to understand compassion and love in the way that their fathers never could. They could topple empires together. They could defy death, and, when they died, their empire would fall with them. Because why have heirs when you could have eternal glory? Why break another child when the two of them have been broken enough for every heir to come? The anger clouds their thoughts and a storm clouds the night sky reflected in their eyes, which proceed to darken. And then it begins again.

They tear each other apart to piece their shredded souls back together in an attempt to feel something other than emptiness and loneliness and anger. But the bond they’re creating isn’t of love, at least, not the kind Felicity knows it _should_ be. Because Nyssa is in love with the name she’d let slip and Felicity is, well… Felicity’s not in love with anything. Not even herself. But when Nyssa’s touching her like this, she thinks maybe she could learn to stop hating herself. If only this moment would never end.

And, at the end of it, the women whose eyes never close finally fall asleep, curled against each other like yin and yang; dark curls tangled with blonde ones.

Nyssa is gone when Felicity wakes up, and Elysia stumbles in not long after, filled with questions about the other Heir to the Demon that Felicity answers, with lies that are half true, and exclamations upon seeing the marks that cover her skin. Elysia notes that she left her dress there, and Felicity shrugs it off, knowing that the crumpled clothes on the ground are probably not Nyssa’s own but more likely something she’s left as a present, disguised as last night’s clothes.

One black leather jacket that she can’t wear if she’s going to becomes separate from who she was at M.I.T. Cropped and mid-sleeved with only the necessary zippers. She checks the inside of the sleeves and finds pockets for throwing knives. Smiling to herself and rolling her eyes at Nyssa’s love of the tiny blades, she hangs it up in her closet.

She doesn’t wear it for four years.

Until one night when Nyssa crawls through her bedroom window again and the familiar sound of Sara’s name whispered against her neck reminds her of a night so long ago.

And this time, when she leaves, Felicity has the soft leather to hold herself together while her heart unwillingly falls apart.


End file.
